The Squee Stalker
by sodamonster
Summary: A quick read. Mostly Jhonen-style mahem consisting of Squee, his unknown relative, some blood, knives, and Nny. Cameo's, lack of love interests, and a NEW, ALTERNATE ENDING!
1. Uh Oh! Spies!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the thoughts in my head. All flames will be smothered with laughter.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Is too!"  
  
"Is not!"  
  
"Is too!"  
  
"Is NOT!!"  
  
"I wish you were alive so I could dismember you. You irritate me so very much."  
  
Johnny C. and his 'mind companion', Revered Meat, were having another pointless argument over whether or not a certain blood stain on a certain wall in a certain room resembled a certain person or not. The latter quipped up at the formers' last statement:  
  
"Johnny, you know what?"  
  
Johnny held up a hand with a hammer in it, threateningly, (A.N: Where'd that come from?) shutting the inanimate object up for the moment, for he knew what the thing was going to say already.  
  
"I need cherry doom."  
  
He then grabbed his bag-o-goodies (A.N: Hehe!) and stormed out of his rundown shack. *I wonder if Squee wants to come.* Nny didn't think over it long, and turned on his heal towards the little kid's house, only to find a young woman peering into the boy's window. (A.N: She was looking into the living room window, not his bedroom, which is on the second floor.)  
  
Nny's immediate thought was that this woman was a burglar or something, then quickly washed that idea away. No thief in their right mind would come to this neighborhood. But, she was suspicious-looking anyways, and could potentially hurt Squee. Johnny would not tolerate that. So he silently reached into his backpack and pulled out a small dagger with a comfy grip, and sneaked up behind the woman who was still looking in the window.  
  
He grinned evilly, raising the dagger above his head, ready to drive it deep into her spine, but she had obviously seen his reflection in the glass, and so had sent her elbow slamming into Johnny's cheek before he could react. The maniac's head snapped to the side, with his body not far behind it, and the dagger sailed through the air, landing a few feet from where Johnny had landed. He grinned humorlessly up at the woman, who was looking back down at him with an expression Nny related to one of a child who had just done something bad and got caught.  
  
"You know, hardly any of my other victims ever fight back."  
  
He stood up slowly, reaching for the knife without taking his eyes off the defenseless woman.  
  
"I don't want to fight you. I just wanted to-"  
  
The woman stopped when a light from the living room came on. She ignored the killer in front of her and ducked down, sprinting to the other side of the house and far, far away (A.N: It's not really that far. I think.). Johnny was going to chase after her, but the tiny, trauma-prone boy had appeared in the window, clutching his stuffed bear to his chest. Johnny looked up at him, all irritation and insanity wiped from his face and replaced with a genuine smile. He gestured for Squee to open his window, which the boy complied to.  
  
"Hey there, Squeegee! Wanna go get a brainfreezie?"  
  
Even though it was almost midnight, Squee smiled shyly and nodded. 


	2. Look! It's Gaz!

The woman opened her door to her apartment, trying to catch her breath, and stumbled in, ignoring her roommate, who just happened to be making out with someone on their couch.  
  
The roommate, noticing someone else's presence, reluctantly climbed off of her boyfriend, who was all too happy to be able to breathe again.  
  
"I'd better go. You know how Gir can be when he's by himself."  
  
The boyfriend rose and gave his sweetheart a peck on the cheek.  
  
"All right. See ya tomorrow."  
  
"Bye."  
  
Both girls returned their goodbyes and he left. The girl called Ly peeked her head in from the kitchen at Gaz and grinned slyly.  
  
"You know, you really didn't have to stop on my account."  
  
Gaz grunted back and decided to change the subject.  
  
"So, how'd it go? Did you find him?"  
  
Ly returned to the living room with her glass of water and plopped next to Gaz on the couch.  
  
"I found him, but I couldn't see him. The lights were off. And some psycho tried to kill me, so I came back here. I'll try again in a few days."  
  
Gaz looked over at her insane friend and shook her head sadly.  
  
"I hope you kicked his ass before you ran away. I didn't teach you those moves for nothing."  
  
"Unlike you, Gaz, I am opposed to violence. I elbowed him in the face, and then ran." Her roommate looked slightly more pleased.  
  
"Hm. You wanna play on the SlaveStation? I have an hour before I have to go to work."  
  
Gaz, being a perpetual insomniac, had chosen hours that would accommodate this. Ly only slept when she really, really had to. She felt it was very restricting.  
  
"Yeah, and I'm gonna kick your butt all the way to Tiny Chicken Town, too!"  
  
Gaz looked at her funny look, and stated matter-of-factly, "That's not very pacifistic talk. Besides, you suck at video games."  
  
Ly merely shrugged and dove for the controllers, laughing maniacally. 


	3. Armed and Dangerous

A very short chapter indeed!  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Two days (Or nights, rather) passed, and Ly had returned to Squee's house, with the companionship of an array of small knives hidden all over her person. She looked every which way for any signs of anyone that might try to kill her, and crept up to the living room window. She noticed a small glow coming from within, and peered over the edge.  
  
Inside, she spotted the tiny boy bent over his desk, writing something. She smiled slightly, and figured that now was as good a time as any, and raised her hand to tap on the window, but was stopped as something slammed down between her shoulder blades, making her ram into the wall and plummet to the ground from the force, stunned temporarily. She was just able to reach into her coat pocket for one of her many knives, and flicked it open with ease.  
  
Ly rolled onto her back painfully, ready to slice the ankles off of her attacker, but was again stopped when something made harsh contact with the side of her face, sending her consciousness flying in another direction. Her attacker frowned eerily down on her, lifted her up over his shoulder and took her away. 


	4. Meet Thy Neighbor

Very slowly, Ly reopened her eyes. This did her little good, seeing as how the room she was in was pitch black. After thinking she was blind for a moment, she felt as though her head weighed a ton, and her fingers were all tingly and above her head. Then she realized she was hanging upside down by her ankles. It was very unpleasant and made it difficult to think. Suddenly, a door opened at the far side of the room, sending a small beam of light in its wake. This caused several voices, mostly frightened ones, to announce their existence from within the room.  
  
"Shut up! You will all get your turns at death soon enough. I promise."  
  
The person walked from the door over to where Ly hung. Luckily, he had brought a flashlight with him. But, instead of shining on the floor, he pointed it in her face, making her squish her eyes shut.  
  
"Hello there," he started.  
  
"My name is Johnny, and I've a question or two to ask you."  
  
He paused, placing the flashlight on the floor so it illuminated their little area.  
  
"Is there any particular reason you enjoy hanging around Squee's window?"  
  
His newest victim looked back at him, confused.  
  
"You call him Squee? As in the sound he used to make when he was scared?"  
  
Nny returned her confused look, and added a hint of angry suspicion. He whipped out a long, jagged knife from somewhere and pressed it against her throat to speed things up a bit.  
  
"Answer the question!"  
  
She sighed, though slightly so the knife wouldn't cut her,  
  
"I'm here to.protect him.in a sense."  
  
Nny wasn't satisfied with that answer, and pressed the knife harder against her skin, though not yet drawing blood.  
  
"Protect him against what, in a sense? And why?"  
  
Ly wondered why this guy was so interested in all this.  
  
"Could you, um, let me down? It's really hard to concentrate with my blood pushing on my brain, ya know?"  
  
Johnny hadn't really wanted to kill the girl anyways, only have her answer his questions. So he didn't mind letting her down all that much (A.N: Yes he did. O_o). He'd confiscated her weapons, anyways. He had gotten a good chuckle out of seeing so many pocket knives on one person. He flung the knife he was threatening her with at the ropes that were holding her up, and held her under her arms as she fell so no additional damage would be done to her cranium.  
  
She thanked him, sat down under the influence of the dizziness that accompanies blood traveling to other places besides one's head, and untied her ankles. Nny joined her on the floor and gestured for her to continue.  
  
"Okie dokie. Phwew, what a rush. So, let's see. Short version. Uh, ok. I've taken it on myself to shut up any and all voices Todd is probably hearing so that he doesn't go completely nuts and do the bad things they tell him to. It's a side affect of insanity; schizophrenia, I think."  
  
She smiled at him, seemingly oblivious to the look he was giving her. He looked extremely confused and irritated at the same time.  
  
"Oh, and why, did you say?" she continued.  
  
"Well, it's mostly because he's my little brother, and I know what he's going through. Those voices can be awfully hard to ignore. It's my sisterly duty to see that he will be all right. Eh, he doesn't know that him and I are related just yet. His mom and dad put a restraining order on me when he was just a toddler. I'm not quite sure why though. But anyways, I do miss him." Johnny listed to all this with extreme interest. If this girl was indeed Squee's sister, and if she was at least 18, which she looked to be, she could take care of her little brother, and Nny could do what he had always wanted to do; brutally (A.N: Ha. Nny being anything but brutal is mind- boggling.) retaliate on Squee's parents for the inhumane treatment of their son.  
  
A slow, malevolent smirk crept onto Johnny's face. As soon as this girl left, he was going to get to work planning Mr. and Mrs. Squee's deaths.  
  
"If you want to see him, I can take you to him."  
  
Johnny tried to jump out of the way as the young woman squealed in delight and attacked him in a hug.  
  
"Please. DON'T touch me."  
  
He gently pushed her off and took a step back.  
  
Ly kept the happy expression on her face and followed Nny upstairs. As soon as the light of the living room reached them, the girl let out a blood- curdling scream. Johnny spun around, ready to fight what he supposed was the wall-monster. Instead, he found that the young woman was staring at her hands, no longer screaming. She looked at her palms like Johnny's victims often looked at him when he was about to torture them. But she wasn't being tortured. Nny was baffled.  
  
Nny cautiously approached her and peeked at her hands. They were covered in blood. *So what?* thought Johnny. Then he remembered that some people dislike blood, and tried to comfort her.  
  
"Eh, you must've put your hands down in a puddle. Don't worry, it comes right off with some soap and water."  
  
When she didn't respond or even look up, he pulled her over to his couch and sat her down. Then he went into his bathroom and wetted a washcloth.  
  
When he came back, she was babbling to herself. He sat down curiously next to her and began to rub the drying blood off of her still elevated hands.  
  
"Meh. Blood. Oooh, my blood. My blood. No no nononono. Oh no. Not again.No no, bloody hands. Eh, bloooddd! Blood blood bloooood. No no no not my hands. My hands.bloody.my bloody hands. NonononononononoNoNoNONONOO!! I didn't do it. No, my blood.."  
  
"No, not your blood; someone elses blood. Probably that prick from the 24/7 store."  
  
He had never seen anyone get so hysterical over blood before, except when it was coming out of them. Suddenly, she stopped talking and began to hyperventilate. Nny looked at her strangely and then grabbed her nose and put a hand over her mouth, stopping her from breathing at all. It took about 10 seconds for Ly to swipe the offending hands away. She took in a deep breath and looked at Nny with healthy recognition.  
  
"Hi there! Are you.trying to kill me again?" Ly queried.  
  
Nny didn't know what to say, so he threw the bloody washcloth into a corner.  
  
"Yeah, your hands were annoying me. Let's go!"  
  
He stood up and yanked her out of his house. 


	5. Aw! He's Having a Nightmare!

Outside, Ly looked around, recognizing her surroundings immediately. She thought that guy would've taken her far away, like most other kidnappers in the movies did.  
  
Then she remembered, "Hm. Oh, do you have my knives? Ironically, my roommate'll kill me if I don't give them all back."  
  
Nny nodded and slithered (A.N: Hehe, slithered.) back inside.  
  
A minute or so later, both young adults were perched at Squee's window, peering in. The moon was at such a position that it allowed enough light into his bedroom for them to see him. He had his body on his side facing the window, and had Shmee tucked under one arm. His little face was scrunched up and contorting with fear.  
  
"Aw, he's having a nightmare, poor baby brother. I tell ya, sleep is bad for your health."  
  
Nny nodded silently to this, shuddering at his own ghastly nighttime memories.  
  
Ly asked, "Do you think I should wait until tomorrow? It is pretty late."  
  
She glanced at her watch.  
  
"Er, early."  
  
Johnny shrugged, "I'm sure he'll get over it."  
  
Ly thought it over for a minute, then, "Mm.nah. Kids need their sleep."  
  
She didn't want to admit it, but the kick Johnny had given her had a massive headache as a side-affect.  
  
They both backed away from the window, and Ly sighed.  
  
"Well, I suppose I'll go wander around town until morning. My paycheck is burning a hole in my pocket. Wanna come?"  
  
Nny grinned at the odd woman.  
  
"Thanks, but I'd rather not. I have to take care of some stuff."  
  
He looked for any sign that she knew what that 'stuff' was, but she only smiled at him.  
  
"Alright. Goodbye then. And thanks for not killing me."  
  
Nny tried his hardest to smile normally back at her, but it came off more as him showing her his teeth.  
  
"No problem. Bye bye."  
  
The urge to kill had suddenly become very strong. He decided that he would go out after all. So, after she had walked off a good ways, he sprinted inside, grabbed his bag, and hopped in his car. (A.N: Author knows Nny doesn't just go off looking for a kill, but in HER story, he does. So there. Nyeh.)  
  
A few hours later, just when the darkness of the night was beginning to subside, Nny returned home, bloody and content. As he walked up to his house, he noticed that woman sitting under Sqee's window, giggling at something she was reading, and wondered if she had a home. He wasn't about to invite her over, though; Revered Meat would pick on him till the cows came home. Besides, she said earlier that she had a roommate, so he didn't think about it anymore. Instead, he went inside and tried to draw a comic about his fun-filled night. Oh, what fun it had been. So many assholes, so little time. 


	6. Don't Be Silly, Shmee Homeless People D...

Outside, Ly was reading a Happy Noodle Boy comic, with the aid of a pen- sized flashlight. She tried to keep her laughter to a minimum, so as not to wake anyone in the neighborhood prematurely. On her little outing, she had bought a taquito (just to see what Gir was making all the fuss about), had re-dyed her hair to a lovely shade of ketchup-red (because her auburn roots where beginning to show), and had traded one of Gaz's knives to an insane bum for the Happy Noodle Boy comic she was currently reading. She had yet to notice the author's name.  
  
Ly was going to go home, then come back later on in the day, but it was nice out and she had nothing else to do. So she waited, and waited, and waited some more. She waited until the sun had chased away all visible signs of night, about 7 a.m. Just as she finished reading the comic for the five millionth time, she heard a door open and shut, with a small voice coming from that direction.  
  
"Don't be silly, Shmee. Homeless people don't burn. I bet she's just lost. She won't wanna stay lost when the scary neighbor man tries to help her, though."  
  
Ly got quickly to her knees and peeked around the corner. Peeking back at her were two sets of eyes; one set were huge and fearful, and the others were sewn on.  
  
The little boy jumped back, not expecting to see anyone so closely, and whooshed back inside.  
  
"SQUEE!! NO!! Don't eat ma brains!!"  
  
Ly reprimanded herself silently and tried to go after the boy.  
  
"No no, it's alright! Todd, don't.I didn't mean to scare you! Come back, Todd."  
  
She kept herself outside, not daring to follow Squee inside.  
  
A few seconds later, a man slammed out of the door, startling Ly.  
  
"What do you want? You want-Oh good God. What the Hell are you doing here?? Get away! Get away before I call the cops! And take the kid with you!"  
  
At this point, the jerk (A.N: Please pardon the author's judementalness here.) turned around to give Squee the full volume of his bellow.  
  
"Todd!! Get out here!!"  
  
But Ly ran away as fast as she could before Squee had a chance to come back out. She ran until she was out of the house's sight, stopping at a local coffee shop. 


	7. Time For a Sit

Ly plopped herself into a chair in a dark corner of Café le Prick, putting her cheek down on the cool surface of the table.  
  
(A.N: Eww. That table is probably chock-full of germs!)  
  
*Well, that didn't go as smoothly as it could have. Goodness, I scared him to death. Now he'll never to talk to me. Fook.Maybe I should just kidnap the kid, cuz this is taking way too long.* She banged her head on the table in her confused aggravation, which drew a few snobbish glares.  
  
"You know, banging your head like that kills brain cells."  
  
Ly looked up at the presumptuous person, and saw Nny standing over her.  
  
"Well, aren't you the hypocritical sort. I'm sure what I kill and what you kill hardly equal out."  
  
Nny thought this over, and nodded in defeat.  
  
"Perhaps."  
  
"So, what are you doing out in the light of day? If you are bent on killing me, I suppose this would be the perfect place. You'd get so to kill so many morons in one morning here. But I'd like to request a sound decapitation, as I'd prefer not to notice I'm dead. I could come back as a ghost, and that'd be neato."  
  
Johnny gave her an incredulous look, and then laughed at her paranoia.  
  
"Do you think that's all I do? I might, as I like to call it, 'artfully detach these other people from the living', but not you. You haven't done a thing to tick me off. So please stop worrying about it. Anyways, I am here to ask you a favor."  
  
Ly looked up at him with an excited interest.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Pick Squee up at his house and take him to yours at, say, midnight. And don't ask questions."  
  
*Uh oh. This guy sounds like he's in with the Mafia,* thought Ly. With all the naivety she could muster, she agreed.  
  
"Alright. My turn. Are you 21 yet?"  
  
Johnny gave her a curious look, then nodded.  
  
"Nice. Could you, if I gave you the money, pick me up some Jagermeister? I'm dyyiinnngg to get drunk."  
  
Nny almost started ranting about human stupidity and the like, but stopped himself. Squee's sister was going to do him a favor, a huge favor at that, so he might as well return it quickly.  
  
"Fine. I'll postpone my plans until tomorrow night so you can deface yourself tonight. I don't think it's a good idea for a babysitter to be drunk while on the job."  
  
Ly almost jumped on him again from pure glee, but decided against it.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"In the meantime, I have some.something.to vent. You might want to leave now."  
  
Ly nodded, handed Nny some money, and casually walked out of the café. Johnny stood up, as though to follow Ly, but locked the doors discretely instead. Then he turned back to the coffee-drinkers with a malicious, eager grin and spread his arms open dramatically.  
  
"Friends. ENEMIES! Lend me your ears!"  
  
With that, he dove for the nearest person and got to work.  
  
(A.N: I can't tell you the details, cuz they're nasty, but I can say that one 'job' involved a soda can, some wet popcorn kernels, and toenails. Lots of toenails.) 


	8. Ew! There's Bum on My Shoe

The Shortest Chapter EVER!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ *Breath, keep breathing. Don't lose your nerve. Breath, keep breathing. I cannot give in alone.* Ly sang these lyrics to herself, trying to calm down feelings that she couldn't define. But they were unpleasant. And her 'father' had given them to her. Her 'father' despised her and her brother. Eventually he would kick him out too. She had to get Todd first. She had to rescue him.  
  
Ly kept trudging on, not knowing where she was going. *It doesn't matter where I go. I'll always be lost. Erg. Not that I'm depressed or sad in the least. No no. I'm happy. Yes. Today went well. Sure. It told me that I need to.er.get drunk or something. No, wait! It told me that I need to rescue my brother. Yeah, that's it. Hang on a sec more. How's that Johnny guy gonna give me my Jagermeister? Dang, he doesn't even know my name. Erg. Wonderful. Now I have to go back and tell him where I live. Creepy.* So Ly turned around and started walking back to the café, doing the best she could to not step on the bums. Well, she tried not to at least.  
  
(A.N: *Sploosh* Eww! There's bum on my shoe!!) 


	9. Whistle While You Work!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~  
  
"Whistle while you work!"  
  
*Whistle whistle whistle whistle*  
  
"Hehehe!"  
  
Johnny was enjoying his second go (A.N: This story takes place after Nny attacks the café the first time.) at Café le Prick. He was enjoying it quite a bit. He pounded here and rammed there and sang and was generally having a good old time. Well, up until he heard a second set of giggles coming from the door. He furrowed his brow and looked up from his un- popped-popcorn-toenail-soda-can fun (A.N: *Shrugs* Use your imagination.) in a curious manner and saw Squee's sister. She was standing in the doorway (A.N: Don't ask how she got in, cuz I don't know), clutching at her hair like it was a lifeline. Her widened eyes were staring at nothing in particular, (A.N: Actually, she was staring at the carnage in front of her, but it didn't look like she was looking at anything.) but she was laughing without humor, like a dead person would if their voice box still functioned. Nny sighed and rubbed at his face frustratedly. There went his fun. See it go? Whoosh. There it went.  
  
Nny stood upright after slashing (A.N: Blah. What a boring word.) at his current victim's throat. Then he went over to Ly and pushed her back outside, turned back around, threw in a Molotov Cocktail*, and hurriedly dragged Ly to a safer place. In a matter of moments, Café le Prick was engulfed in flames. (A.N: Yay!)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*A Molotov Cocktail is something like a breakable container filled with a flammable substance and topped off with a rag (soaked in the flammable substance) for a wick, which is lit and thrown at something. It makes a little explosion and covers everything it touches in flames. 


	10. The Author Apologizes

This is the most lazy I have ever been with an ending. If you don't like it, and want a serious one, let me know and I'll see what I can do.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~  
  
After the two sat down in front of Eat or Die, Nny worked at removing Ly's fingers from her hair. It took a bit of tugging and pinching and whatnot, but Ly's hair was freed in the end. Unfortunately, Johnny was unsure of how to snap her back into reality. He tried to block her airways again, which had worked last time, but all that happened was Ly passed out. Johnny was about ready to just kill the girl and raise Squee himself, but he sure as heck didn't want the boy to turn out like he did. So he grumbled and hoisted Ly back over his shoulder and plunked her in the back seat of his car (A.N: Which the author placed strategically nearby so Nny wouldn't have to walk far with his burden. Author is so nice!).  
  
On the way home, Johnny ran over some jaywalking pedestrians, a mime, five cheerleaders, an evil looking bird, two bad mothers, a jaywalking frog, seventeen clowns, another mime, and a cute, harmless bunny. (A.N: Author is just kidding. She doesn't think Nny would actually run over a cute, harmless bunny.)  
  
Um, and then Johnny threw Ly out the window of his moving vehicle because he couldn't stand her any more. She was way too wimpy for his taste. Then he put his car into reverse and ran over her a couple hundred times, until she was good and dead. But just as he was driving away from her mangled, smooshed corpse, she jumped up mad as a hornet and attacked his car! She pummeled it with her fists and bit threw the metal of the roof, exposing a terrified, hostile Nny, who was trying not to run his car up a tree (A.N. Heh! It rhymes!).  
  
In the end, they talked out their differences and eventually got married and had 3 kids, all of whom grew up to be wonderfully skilled mass murderers. Their daddy was very proud. And sometimes Uncle Squee came over to babysit. They always had a grand ol' time.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE END! OR NOT! The author isn't sure yet. Sad but true. Yes. It is the author's sad, sad tale. Booh.  
  
I'm so sorry. 


	11. DUDE! It's Time For A Change Author Styl...

This shall be the beginning of an ENTIRELY NEW ENDING!!! It will in no way resemble the previous ending, which was quite lazily written, though quite fun. I do this purely to satisfy myself and make it seem like I've actually completed a task for once.  
  
DIRECTIONS: If you wish to read the original ending, simply proceed to the next chapter.  
  
If you wish to indulge yourself in something SLIGHTLY more meaningful (though less Jhonen-esque style), simply find the chapter locator thingy and select "chapter 12," also called "The REAL Slim Shady." I do hope you have very little trouble with this.  
  
Please enjoy responsibly. 


	12. The REAL Slim Shady

Why was Nny being so helpful to one who was so high maintenance? Must be love. Or maybe delayed gratification would be worth the effort this one time. Yeah, let's go with that.  
  
At any rate, the mentally disinclined pair sat themselves down in front of the lovely Eat or Die. And, as Johnny had no interest in touching the spaz's nose again, he proceeded to do something that would help his increasing frustration as well as to get Ly out of her comatose state.  
  
He waltzed into the noodle hut and popped back out moments later with a small impaling device sometimes used for stabbing food. Maybe the fork would feel better about being stolen if it had something to vent it's anger at, such as the leg of a helpless female.  
  
Nny grinned inwardly (and outwardly), tip-toeing ever so sneakily out of Eat or Die, not realizing that Ly probably wouldn't notice his approach anyways in her spacey condition. The thrill of the soon-to-be painyness (A.N: YAY! New word) was just too much to resist.  
  
But ALAS!! Ly was not where he had left her. Was she was FAKING the WHOLE TIME!?!? Could be.  
  
A twitch itched at the corner of Johnny C.'s mouth, the fork clanging unused to the sidewalk. His hands raised themselves shakily to his face, where he proceeded to rub the anxiety right off!  
  
"It's alright. No big deal. You don't have to find her. She'll find you. Yeessss. When she wants you, she'll come to you. They allllways do, don't they? Yessss. Yes they do."  
  
Nny put on his happy face, threw his hand down to the forgotten fork, and expertly plunked it at an ugly homeless boy's left eye. This did more good than harm, seeing as how the boys' eye was dangling precariously from its socket previously, and now it was firmly attached to his face.  
  
"That was my good deed for the day. Now its off to the nearest ABC store!" 


End file.
